"Heh, this kid really does think he's a legitimate superstar."

Hawkeye stands at the ready, his long black trench coat waving in the wind. He smiles a bit as he looks off into the distance. A small pair of headlights get closer and a metallic blue humvee comes into view. Hawkeye picks up his bag and laughs as the humvee pulls up, and TWC owner Mr. Balls kicks the door open.

Hawkeye: Damn brother, you're still acting like a kid aren't you?

Mr. Balls: Are you serious? I'm a fuckin' billionaire!

Hawkeye: Well, thanks to you sharing your second billion, so am I. What does it matter?

Mr. Balls: Hey, did you hear that we're in contract discussions with another XWF star?

Hawkeye: You've got to stop stealing Jonathyn's talent dude. He's gonna flip out and off you one of these days or something.

Mr. Balls: I'm not stealing anyone! I'd rather work for me too!

Hawkeye: Well, whatever you call it. If you're offering them contracts, you're kind of taking them.

Mr. Balls: They're coming to me dude. This one, I'd hire her in an instant. She's one of our best friends' wife.

Hawkeye: Laura?

Mr. Balls: Yeah bro. Laura.

Hawkeye: Get her on! We'll have the Flatline Crew yet!

Mr. Balls: Dude, I've been throwing zeroes at her, but she hasn't budged. She's looking for something specific and isn't really spilling it.

Hawkeye: So, what else has been going on?

Mr. Balls: Oh man, the production meeting this morning was unreal! I can't wait for the fans to see what's in store this week. Speaking of this week, Andrew Clash? I can't believe I gave you this rematch.

Hawkeye: Why? You think you're protecting me by not giving it to me?

Mr. Balls: No, he's fresh blood, Mark, I don't want him to get the wrong idea about the TWC. He's already got a bad attitude thanks to Chris Page.

Hawkeye: Chris Page? CCP? He's still alive?

Mr. Balls: Have you been completely ignoring the rest of the show? Do you still just worry about your match alone?

Hawkeye: Heh...no?

Mr. Balls: You're such a dick dude. But seriously, Andrew Clash is my world champion. If you injure him, who do I get to replace him?

Hawkeye: Me. Tell me I'm not world champion material.

Mr. Balls: You're not world champion material.

Hawkeye: Dick!

Mr. Balls: You told me to say it!

Hawkeye: Well, anyway, I've got to get in the zone dude. Why don't you put on a little Tech?

Mr. Balls: Tech N9ne? Good call!

Hawkeye: Good call!

Mr. Balls pushes a button on the steering wheel, and "Midwest Choppers 2" by Tech N9ne featuring Kaydee and Krayzie Bone blasts. Soon enough, they arrive at the arena. The TitanDome, from the outside, really looks like a menacing place. It has been decorated to look more like the Thunderdome from Mad Max. Mr. Balls has always been about appearances. The two get out of the humvee and head toward the door.

Mr. Balls: So, what've you got planned in the near future? Are you going to keep slumming around the Streetfight Championship Scene forever?

Hawkeye: Let's face it brother, I can't be beaten for this belt. When it's on the line, I go to a whole new level. It's like I'm a man possessed. I guess I like that in myself. That's why I hang on to it and don't try and go any higher.

Mr. Balls: I'm handing you matches against my world champion and you're worried about hanging onto that piece of tin?

Hawkeye: Listen, I enjoy these matches. They remind me of a time ten years ago when I begged for extreme matches. I'm having fun Jake. Isn't that what this is all about?

They arrive at Hawkeye's locker room and step inside.

Mr. Balls: You're right, Mark. I guess I've lost sight of that. I lost it when I was competing for World Titles everywhere and not taking the time to just enjoy the business and the money. I've always loved the fans, you know that, and I feel like TWC is a fan-oriented company.

Hawkeye: It absolutely is! And that's why you need a former World Champion in your Streetfight Championship division! It brings prestige and meaning to the title. I believe there will never be another Streetfight Champion like me. Not to mention, I handed James Raven his first TWC loss in taking it.

Mr. Balls: It was good.

Hawkeye: I know!

Mr. Balls: Well dude, I gotta get to the booking meeting. I'll talk to you later. No need to be there, I'll let you know what they say.

Hawkeye: Sweet. Later dude.

Mr. Balls leaves Hawkeye's locker room, and Hawkeye starts unpacking the things in his bag. He pulls his boots out of the bag and drops them on the floor, followed by his lucky socks, and ring gear. He finally pulls the Streetfight Championship out of the bag and puts it on the couch. He sits on the couch next to the title and places it in his lap.

Hawkeye: Andrew Clash, you sure do a lot of running off at the mouth don't you? You're pretty good at not shutting up. I wish you knew what you were talking about. You've been in TWC less than a month and you're the World Champion because you got lucky in a battle royal. Don't think it was anything other than that. I can tell you this, you keep popping off at the mouth, you'll find me across the ring from you at a Pay Per View event pretty soon. I have no intentions of coming after the World Championship, but if you can't keep your mouth shut and no one else can get the job done, I guess I've got to.

Initially, I had no problem with you. We're really on the same side in this fight. You can't stand James Raven and neither can I. I don't know who CCP is, nor do I care. James Raven, is a flaming turd. He's not leadership material, although he's pretty good at telling his girlfriend and her lesbian friend what to do. That has nothing to do with you and I. It has nothing to do with tonight does it?

I don't want you to continue lying to yourself, Clash, you didn't beat me. You cheated, and the referee didn't see it. A handful of tights is not a legitimate victory. I'll show you a legitimate victory this week when I pin you right in the middle of the ring after the most devastating Duster I've ever delivered. That's a lofty statement considering I did spike a man into a pool of fire from a scaffold one time.

You're making mistakes Clash. You've got some balls, I can say that. A walk in the park before against me? What match were you in? Looked to me like you were reeling until you cheated to win. But hey, get 'em at all costs right? I know you've obviously observed my silence from two weeks ago. Hell, you've mentioned it constantly. Unlike you, I have a daughter, and with a daughter comes responsibility. I have to take care of business. My daughter had appendicitis that week, and I was at the hospital with her. I know, excuses excuses right? I don't owe you an explanation. I don't owe you anything.

I'd like to pause this promo to say a little something that I've noticed as of late. No one seems to be able to get Rogan's name right. He's not Joe Rogan, that's a UFC commentator. He's not Josh Rogan, I don't know who the hell that is. John...his name is John. John Rogan. John Rogan. John Rogan. Enough repetition for you?

Heh, you said my whole family idolizes you? A retarded faux hawk wearing turd who cheats and got lucky. Why would anyone in my home idolize someone like that? The only people in my house are my daughter and I. Guess who her idol is? No, it's not her daddy, it's her uncle Jake. That's her favorite wrestler besides me. Andrew Clash is not even on her radar. Oh, and a girlfriend? I don't date. That might be difficult for you to understand, but there are more important things than me having a girlfriend. I'm a dedicated father, and that means I spend all of my time with my daughter except when I'm up here. So sadly, not to debunk that, but that's the truth.

You say you're the definition of a champion. How? You won the title and haven't defended it once. Show me a defense on Terror! Show me a defense seven days before a Pay Per View. Shit...show me a defense! I've held this title for awhile and haven't been defeated for it. Why? Because I'm a dominant champion! I was a TWC World Champion before you knew this company existed. Ten years ago I won the TWC World Heavyweight Championship. What were you doing? Yeah, that's right. Keeper hasn't really come out of retirement much. Actually, I'm pretty sure this is his first time out of retirement. We're old friends if you must know. Yeah, I beat my old buddy. And what?

I really don't think you've done any research on me at all, Clash. How can I be big on sweets when I don't eat sugar at all? Besides Kool Aid, I don't imbibe sugar at all. I'm just really lost trying to figure out where your unfounded comments are coming from. You just don't know anything about me and needed stuff to say or what? I know your kind dude. I know them, because I've been wrestling them for twelve years. You're trying to say anything you can to shake me up, and you're not going to get the job done. If calling me fat is all you've got, that's just sad. I'm seven feet three inches dude! 325 pounds, considering my build, is pretty lean actually.

Once again, I must stop myself. I have to know, Clash, were you on drugs when you cut this promo? You were talking about my mother having sex with Yao Ming and Shaq? Yao wasn't born yet, and Shaq was like two years old. I just can't understand where you're coming from half the time. What doesn't make sense about a seven foot three inch white guy? What's so strange about that? Have you ever watched college basketball? There's plenty of seven footers. They've got white guys too. It's funny that you mention the missing Loughton sister. Her name is Tara, she lives in Sacramento, she's the personal assistant to the governor, and she's of normal height. And yes, David and Goliath, this would be that type of story. Except, our hero doesn't win this time. Face it, it's a story anyway. You think I haven't heard David vs. Goliath my whole career? You think I don't understand that I'm tall? You think I don't know that I'm freakishly large? Yeah, I got the memo on that one Andrew Clash. Apparently, you didn't get the memo that you can't hurt my feelings with claims that you make.

I am, however, trying to figure out who Aurora Frost is. I mean, I hear she's on the roster, but I haven't seen her. I guess I really should pay more attention to other people huh? I can tell you this, she wasn't around when I won my Streetfight Championship, and she probably won't be around when I lose it. You know why? Because I'll relinquish this title before I lose it. There's not a man standing that can take it from me.

I don't know how many times I have to say it. You didn't give me a beating, Clash, you barely won! You had a handful of my pants dude. That's not a win, that's a chicken shit escape. you know how I got my nicknames? I saved more companies than you've probably heard of. That's why they call me The Messiah. I really don't have to explain myself all the time do I? It seems like every match I have, I must explain who I am and how I got here.

I could be crazy Clash. I could be. Would you believe it? I mean, let's consider the fact that I am willingly going into a match with our esteemed faux hawk wearing world champion. What can I tell you? I like a challenge. I like the opportunity to beat on stupid people. You're popping off at the mouth and it doesn't make any sense. I really don't think you said anything that made any sense at all in your promo. It was actually quite comical.

What else is comical, is the fact that you have all this respect for my brother...who is my twin. I out-achieved him in the beginning, and while he's picked up steam the last few years, I've lost a little while raising my child. I don't really care what you think about me. I know that I'm accomplished, I know that I'm a legend in this business. I know that I AM A GOD!

You, Andrew Clash, are an imposter. You are a phony cat who just showed up one day and got lucky. I'm pretty sure the kids are still calling me Hawk. You know why? Because I'm that goddamned good, and I have been for all these years. What do they call you Clash? I don't need to make fun of your name to shake you up. I just have to step in the ring with you. When you look across the ring at a true wrestling legend, you'll show me all I need to see.

I'm not sure why you're breaking kayfabe in your promos, but hey, what do I know? Faces and heels, faces and heels. What does it matter? The new cool is to be a tweener. The new way to be is back and forth depending on the day of the week. Anti-social, anti-establishment, you know...kinda like you. What can I say? I've always been a good guy. That's just the kind of man I am. Army Ranger, All-American, Former World Champion, War Hero, and the last of the true good guys. What are your claims, Clash?

What have you done in your career that was worth anything? When was the last time you volunteered your time to something other than banging that whore you hang with? I'm just saying, Andrew, you're pathetic. You're a pathetic excuse for a human being, and a poor example for the children that watch our product. I'm going to end this all tonight. In the middle of that ring, I'm going to prove that the TWC World Championship would be mine if I wanted it. There is not a person in this company that can defeat me when I'm on my game. Right now, I'm on it.

You're going to find out, Clash. Just a few hours from now, you're going to feel the pain that comes along with a Loughton sized beating. When I'm finished with you, you'll know you've been in a fight. You're going to feel the pain. You'll feel the burn. You will not defeat me again. If you think otherwise...PROVE ME WRONG!

Hawkeye gathers his things and starts getting ready for the main event.