Dante’s Sentiments

I’m proud to say that I really don’t know what the fuck I’m doing anymore.

I’m not entirely sure that I ever did know what I was doing.

I step into the ring each week with the intention of putting on a great performance, of putting on a great show, but I’m not entirely sure that is really good enough anymore. I need to be learning things, even now. It’s a time of preparation for me, I’m getting into the zone before I finally step into the ring with Big Shank in a one on one match for the XWF Universal Championship in what will be the biggest match of my entire career, if not my entire life. This could turn me from a superstar into a mega-star, this could shoot me above and beyond anything else imaginable and sky-rocket my career to it’s very highest of heights, this match could be my Everest. I could end up as the most famous name in the professional wrestling industry or I could be just another name left floundering about on the floor like a fish out of water.

The decision as to which route I take is ultimately my own but does that stop me from doubting myself up to this very point?

No.

Do I think I deserve this Universal Title shot?

No.

Do I honestly think I’m ready for this match?

Maybe, maybe not.

The trouble is that, mentally, I’m in doubt. Doubt’s never a good thing to have going on in your head and doubting yourself is clearly not very good for your own self-esteem. I’m meant to be this big, arrogant, selfish, ‘take no shit’ mother fucker and all I seem to do these days is think “maybe I’m not quite ready yet.”

How pathetic does that sound?

Whilst I may not be in the game 100% in my mentality, not just because of my doubts but because of my personal problems outside the ring, I’m coming up to this match in the best physical shape of my life. I’ve been pushing myself in training harder than ever before, bench-pressing more than I’ve ever managed before, breaking my personal best cross country times and, for the first time since I started out in the business, I’m not taking any kind of painkillers. Shank is in for a wrestling contest, no doubt about it, I’m pumped and I’m ready to go and I’d hope to think he is as well; I don’t want to be facing a half-assed Big Shank, I want the real thing. I want to take on the Big Shank who took down Ranma Saotome for the XWF Universal Championship, that’s the guy I want to face. A win against anybody else wouldn’t matter anywhere near as much to me but a win over that Shank, that same Big Shank who ended the 5 month reign of Ranma, that would be the defining moment of my career.

I’m always getting too far ahead of myself and that’s my problem, I really need to spend more time focusing on the here and now. That match with Shank is a week and a half away and anything can happen between now and then so I need to get my head away from the future and onto what’s happening now, or at least what’s happening next; Thursday Night Anarchy this week.

When I looked at this week’s card, I was slightly dumbfounded. C.H.A.D is still being paid to half ass his way through a match? What’s more, he’s now put on my team? Right, so now I have to lug him around like the same dead weight that Famine was? Great, another loser to have to drag around with me, but it’s all good. Fortunately this is a 6-Man Tag Team Match so there’s a third partner, someone I’m actually looking forward to teaming up with in the form of Scythe, the current United States Champion. He has really impressed me with his performances in the ring so far and his US Title victory was a huge win on his part having only been in the company for a short period. That’s something that has made me laugh though. Since I quit the company in October and dropped the US Title, it’s been around 3 months, the same length of time I held the gold myself. In that short period of time, whereas I was the only person to hold the title in my 3-Month span, in UNDER 3 months, there have been 3 different champions. Clearly these up and comers aren’t quite as tough as they are made out to be but I don’t think I really had too much competition during my reign, I can’t remember ever really sweating a match or an opponent. Guess that’s the way things fall in the end, it just makes me look that much better as a competitor, as if I’ve really need any help looking better in the ring. That doesn’t mean to say that I don’t think Scythe is a deserved United States Champion. The man is a tough combatant and is, naturally, a big up and coming star who has taken the XWF by storm in the past few weeks and, if I’m honest, he has impressed me in the matches I’ve seen him in, particularly in the four way two weeks ago. That is why I’m more than happy to be a part of the same team as him and I think it’ll make the job of lugging C.H.A.D around that much easier with two of us carrying him as opposed to just the one. I guess Scythe has something to prove in this match, he’ll probably be trying to ‘out-do me’ and I say let him, I’m not interested in this match, not really, it’s not important in the grand scheme of things.

Then, of course, there’s the other thing that left me dumbfounded about my match; who the fuck are my opponents? I’ve heard there names, Terror Old One, Emma Nell Jacked One and Bad In The Sack and I don’t have a clue as to who any of them are. I’ve been put into the ring with a bunch of nobodies? Fantabulistical! I didn't really know anything about Thomas Davis and he didn’t even show up to the arena for the Tag Match and now I know nothing about the KKK so what the hell am I meant to do? These guys come in and go up against me on there debut night? What the hell? I’d rather step into the ring with Scythe, one on one, at least then I know what I’m dealing with but this shit is just getting ridiculous. I’m supposed to be the Number One Contender to the Universal Championship, taking up the role because there is a big lack of competition to that particular prize at this moment. How am I meant to prepare for such a big match when I’m facing a bunch of nobodies? I should be taking on the Doctor Emo’s, the Kieran King’s, even the Scythe’s of the company, not a bunch of unimportant, insignificant jackasses who won’t be around in a month’s time. I feel like I’m part of the new ‘disposal crew’ cleaning out the trash before it even gets a chance to dirty up the streets. I’m not here to destroy jobbers, no matter how fun it is. I’m here to be the best competitor in the XWF, the toughest wrestler in the company and that reputation won’t arrive if I’m not given the opportunity to take down the top guys in the company. It’s like I’m being held down in an attempt to make me look weak before my match with Shank. Are we trying to build up towards a ‘David Vs Goliath’ type encounter? I’m no David and Dustin Rainman is by no means a Goliath, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Damn it, I’m running back off topic again.

Let’s just get to the end of this promo and we can all move on, yeah? This match isn’t important, it’s not, I don’t really care how the cards fall, in fact, I’m bored of this shit, maybe I should lose this match just to see what happens. I could care less about our opponents so I don’t think I’ll give them an easy victory, hell, I won’t give them a victory, no, I refuse. The KKK don’t have any business stepping into the ring with me and I’ll prove to them come Anarchy. Boys, stepping into the ring with me is going to be the biggest mistake of your ‘soon to be ended’ careers.